When it was bad, it was oh, so bad, and when it was good...

1.25.2009

This past week we've had a break from the cold and wet winter here, and I realized something profound: Portland is like that bad boyfriend you can't help loving.

Think of it. You start out in the summer. The landscape is amazing. The skies are blue, everything is green, and there are more wild berries than you can possibly eat. It's all better than you ever knew it could be.

But then the Fall comes, and things start fading. In the back of your mind, you have a sense of foreboding that you don't want to acknowledge. You say to yourself, things were so wonderful this summer, I can handle a little bad weather.

But you know in your heart that it isn't going to be a little bad weather. There will be months of unending rain, soaking into everything you own. You will buy waterproof pants and a waterproof jacket, a waterproof cap to put over your bike helmet and waterproof gaiters over your shoes. You will get used to ringing out your socks, and you will keep a steady supply of hangers in your bathroom so that your clothes can drip dry. And if the rain wasn't enough, you will be cold and shivering all this time. You will grow accustomed to your fingers being blue and pruney. The days will be always overcast, and you will start popping vitamin D pills and anti-depressants. You will say to yourself, in your moments of despair, I will never be dry and warm again.

And just when you're ready to quit this relationship, just when things have gotten so bad that you've threatened to pack your bags and leave, he will dangle one beautiful day in front of you. One crystal clear, warm, sun-filled day. You will take a blanket to the park and read a book there. Or go on a hike in the Gorge. Maybe you will even take the day off work or skip school so that you can make a trip to the coast. At the end of the day, wrapped in your covers and drifting off to sleep, you will sigh contentedly and think, now I remember why I love this city so much.

It will rain the next day without fail.

You will wake up that morning with a groan. And, as you are putting on your waterproof pants and zipping up your waterproof jacket, you will say to your city, in Brokeback Mountain style, "Why can't I quit you?"