Jungle Tour part two

7.14.2007

That night we had a little confrontation. This isn´t ok, we told him. Its nothing like what we were promised and we may need to find you an AA program. Denial is the first sign. Actually, we asked for an additional three hours to make up for the one we had lost while he was sleeping. Our guide was very accommodating and agreed to this. When I mentioned that we had taken pictures of him passed out in the boat and sleeping in the lodge, we scored an extra night for free.

We awoke the next morning at 5 to see the sunrise and go bird watching. We several different species, the names of which I have forgotten. Griff says that our guide just called everything a hawk. Still, they were all singing and it was great to hear the cacophonous chorus.

We then came back for a quick breakfast-the best meal we had had so far. (The squeaky wheel gets a bit of papaya.)

We got into the boat and headed to the jungle. On the way there Elso, our guide, spotted some dolphins and told us that this was our chances to swim with them. ¨Jump in the water and they´ll come closer.¨ This worked really well, and we jumped in and out of the water, each time spotting more pink and grey river dolphins. It worked great, that is, until one of them tried to attack us. As it turns out, the reason more of them come over when you jump in the water is because they are trying to defend their territory. Near death experiences and all (really) it was still great.

After that we went on a four hour jungle trek. This was undoubtedly the best part of the trip so far. At one point, we came across a giant ant colony on the side of a tree. Our guide told me to stick my fist in it. (I think he had it out for me.) ¨Don´t worry,¨he said. ¨They bite.¨ So I stuck my fist in and soon ants were all over it.
¨Shake them off! Shake them off!¨Griff yelled.
I did and the little fuckers began biting me. Not that many, though. Our guide told us that the indigenous people would do this same thing and the oil left from the crushed ants acted as a natural mosquito repellent. Perhaps I will crush swarms of mosquitoes on myself as an ant repellent. In the meantime, a few ants had wandered up my pants. (insert joke here) This left me slapping my nether regions in front of two male guides and my little brother.

Our guide cut off bits of bark from various trees with his machete and had us smell them. Several of them were used as natural medicines. They all seem to cure gastrointestinal distress probably because of the high fiber content (Griff´s joke). We saw the sap of a rubber tree, which, when touched immediately becomes solid. You can roll it off your skin so that it looks like the leftovers from those erasers in elementary school.

Later, our guide told us to close our eyes and open our mouths. He then fed me a maggot (only me, mind you). It tasted sweet, like coconut milk. I´m thinking of opening up a restaurant.

We did not get to see most of the things we were told we would see, but it was great to trek through the jungle. At one point, our guide let us us the machetes to chop out a path.

Our guide made a hat out of palm leaves. Griff and I took turns looking ridiculous. We swung on vines, and at one point saw a branch that sort of resembled a sloth fall to the ground. And we did see two legs of a tarantula.

As we were walking along, I felt a sharp sting on my chest. Soon they were all over. I started yelling, slapping myself, and running. In the end, I was stung at least 12 times by jungle wasps, cabo. Griff, I might add, was not stung once. Our guide took the flat off his machete and pressed it over the stings, which helped with the pain. I must be a sadist because I found the whole situation hilarious.

It wasn´t until later that Griff told me that we were really lost. Our guide tried to pass it off saying, ¨Look at these tracks. A wild pig must have passed here just minutes before.¨And I was all excited thinking, ¨Damn it, we just barely missed that pig.¨But Griff speaks Portuguese so he understood when the guides were talking to one another. Something like: ¨Do you know where we are?¨ ¨No idea. You?¨

On the boat ride back, I asked our guide if I could swim again. Apparently that whole near death dolphin experience had not cured me. He said it was fine. I jumped into the water and they began to drive away from me. Which is really reassuring when there are pirhanas and attack dolphins in the water. When I caught up to them I said, ¨I have to do something.¨
¨You have to pee?¨Our guide asked.
¨Well, I need all of you to turn around so that I can go skinny dipping in the Amazon.¨ The whole turning around thing didn´t fully translate for our guides, but I got to do a few flips in the water naked. As it turns out, its really hard to get dressed and undressed in the water. Please don´t let me drop my shorts.

We had been offered another night for free (except lodging which was 25$ for the both of us). We were told that we would visit an indigenous family and go harpoon fishing that night. This amounted to one of our guides saying to his uncle, ¨Hey, some Americans are really pissed at us. Can we bring them over and show them your house?¨Still, it was great to see how people live there. We talked with them a bit and drank some really strong alcohol. Later, we got to play soccer with them. Griff has gotten quite good as he practiced a lot in Jao Pesoa. I tried to avoid being killed.

After dinner, Griff invited us to their party, but none of the girls showed up. He described it this way, ¨There are six sexually frustrated guys here and one female. And she´s my sister.¨So the party ended fairly quickly.

The next morning we took a boat, a bus, and a taxi back to Manaus. All and all a great trip even if it was nothing like what we were told we would do. If you know anyone going to the Amazon, tell them to avoid Amazon Riders.